Mother-Father Complex: The LGBTQ Parenting Wonders


“Gay parents tend to be more motivated and more committed than heterosexual parents on average because they chose to be parents,” stated by Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University. 

We have heard plenty of disapproval, significantly religious leaders across the world, regarding LGBTQ parents. Some acknowledged that having a gay or lesbian parent can be the doom of humanity, and for this cause, it should be stopped right away. But for some reason, it’s quite the opposite. Several studies conducted regarding what it’s like to grow up with gay or lesbian parents proved that growing with same-sex parents caused no harmful effects on the growth of a child. Instead, children who grow up with this type of family are displaying deep compassion, open-mindedness, and temperament. In other words, it debunked the idea of many people regarding LGBTQ parents. 

In the same way, the book of Carl Anderson, “Mother-Father Complex,” tackles love and the roles of being a mother and a father. It was written with simplicity and yet compelling in all words. The book portrays the life of parenting, and how its love within changes over time. In addition to that, it involves a joyful moment between the child and the father which everyone can relate. Moreover, Carl Anderson stated his urges on why he had written such a fascinating book. According to him, “I had an urge to make up for a former life with broken relations and a bankruptcy, emotionally and mentally speaking.” Unquestionably, the book was written out of distinct displeasure with his closest loved ones. He also added, “It was necessary for me to let these people speak their point to me but not as I with bitterness could feel at moments, that they probably hated me and never wanted me any good, but in the end, with inclusiveness and respect, both for me and them.”


In any case, it’s undoubtedly therapeutic to finally put all the former life’s grievances in writing. The book is exceptionally a must-read as it talks more about the story of parenting, in which we learn that even someone with a genital of a man is also capable of being a mother and vice-versa. Though the book does not tackle LGBTQ parents, it shows the other side of parenting we all fail to see. However, on the venture of reading and understanding this book, we will be reminded of the parenting’s beauty, regardless of gender circumstances, and the gift as well to bring life into this world. 


On top of that, we have no right to dictate whether someone is capable of raising a child. The culture and tradition of parenting may connote a positive effect on our living, but we should not keep ourselves shut to any possible changes that may come. If it’s hard to accept seeing both women or men raising a child, then the least we could do is to respect their decisions for as long as they are doing their best job as a parent. Because in the end, all we are left is the connection we make from our parents and our future children. 

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